Narrative Essay

Driving in the car at 6am, I can feel my heart in my throat. After this drive, I'm not going to be coming back the same. Everything in my life is about to change and it is going to change for the better. You see, I'm driving to the hospital to be induced. Today is the day I am going to meet my daughter. After forty long weeks and a few extra days, I am going to meet the love of my life. The one little person that is going to be the center of my universe. The thought itself is overwhelming. My mom interrupts my thoughts and gives my leg a gentle, supportive squeeze.

"You ready baby?" she asks me.

I just nod because my thoughts cannot be put into words. I am beyond ready to start my life as a mother. I was expecting to be feeling nervous or scared, but that's the last thing I'm feeling right now. I'm ready.

As the nurse shows me into my delivery room, I can’t keep the smile off my face. She ushers me to the bathroom and asks me to change into my hospital gown. As I’m changing, I take one last look at my naked belly. The thought is almost saddening. This is going to be the last time I will feel her kick within me or feel her little fingers poking through as if she’s trying to say hello. The nurse ends up knocking on my door because I’m taking so long. She then leads me to the bed and starts to talk me through the procedure and what we should all expect to happen. She reminds me that not all births go so smoothly, but reassures me that I’m in good hands if anything complicated were to arise. She talks to me as she puts the IV drip in my forearm, to help take my mind off of it. After hooking it up to the bag full of Pitocin, which helps kick-start labor, she leaves me in the room with only my mother.

A few hours go by until I finally start to feel my contractions. I don’t see what the fuss is about, this is bearable. It’s a little uncomfortable, but nothing like what I’ve heard. I watch as the machine to my right monitors and records my contractions. I start to notice that with each one, the intensity increases. Okay, I’m starting to really feel them now. I hold my breath as I start to feel my next one coming on.

“Breathe through it Kea,” my nurse prompts me.  I shake my head and continue to hold my breath.

“You have to breathe,” she tells me again.

“I’m fine!” I shoot back, finally releasing my breath.  

Now I see what every woman was talking about when they tried explaining the pain of labor. As another one comes on, I feel my whole body tense in a way to help ease the pain. I inhale deeply, followed with a forceful exhale.

“Did you want to proceed with an epidural?” questions my nurse, clearly seeing the pain on my face.

“Yes please,” I whimper.

It takes the anesthesiologist forty whole minutes and many more painful contractions to arrive to my room.

“I hear you want an epidural?” he asks walking in.

I just nod my head; the pain of the contractions has exhausted me to where I can barely speak. I was foolish enough to watch a video on how an epidural was done and to say I’m worried is an understatement. I look over my shoulder to see the seven or eight inch long needle and I swallow down the huge lump of fear that has formed in my throat. The anesthesiologist puts his hands on my shoulders and pushes down; I think it’s his way of telling me to relax.

“This first needle is the numbing agent and it may sting a little,” he tells me as I feel a light prick followed by a slight burning sensation.

“Now you’re going to feel a lot of pressure, try to stay as still as you can,” he encourages me.

A lot of pressure? Is he kidding? It feels as if a five hundred pound sumo wrestler has decided that my back would make a nice seat. Of course he would describe it as if it’s nothing, he’s a man. But I must thank him, because as soon as I feel the ice cold liquid flowing into my spine, the pain of the contractions ceases to exist.

I get a few hours’ sleep before my nurse awakens me to check how dilated I am.

“Six centimeters, she’s coming along well for an induction” she smiles.

“I’m going to lay you on your side, buzz me if you feel any pressure or changes.”

Within five minutes of her leaving, I feel this whoosh of pressure. I look at my Mom and I guess by the look on my face, she can tell something is happening.

“I feel like I need to go to the bathroom and it’s not an urination feeling,” I tell her.

She tells me to call my nurse and let her know. The nurse is rushes back in after briefing her in on
what I’m feeling. She checks me again and beams this big, toothy grin.

“You’re ready to push honey,”

Those words almost make me pass out. This is it. This is what I’ve been waiting so long for. My doctor rushes in and quickly prepares me for delivery. Everything is a blur. My mother and my grandmother are next to me holding my shoulders in support. Everyone is urging me to push, almost begging me. I feel exhausted, it’s been a long day and I just want to close my eyes to rest. I exert so much energy into pushing, my face turns red and I start to sweat.

“One last push!” my nurse proclaims.

I give my last push all my strength and might. Then I hear a cry. That is the most beautiful noise I’ve ever heard and it causes immediate tears. My doctor hands me my baby. My baby, it doesn’t seem real. She’s here and she’s laying on my chest. Her crying suddenly stops as our eyes meet. For the first time in my life, I am crying happy tears. This is what it feels like to be a mother. It is the most empowering and fulfilling feeling ever. I am a mother.